We sit on the bench in the hospital corridor next to the cafeteria, and we wait. You know what waiting is. If you know anything, you know what waiting is. It's not about you. This is about illness and hospitals and life and death... (From: "What Waiting Is," by Robert Carroll, 1998) I've sat in … Continue reading June 17, 2019: In the Surgical Waiting Room
...it's not easy to think about the heart unless trouble arises.--John Stone, MD This past Wednesday I began another expressive writing series at Gilda's Club, an organization founded in memory of comedian Gilda Radner to provide support and services to people living with cancer. The workshops, which I began nearly 20 years ago, inspired by … Continue reading May 4, 2019: This Heart of Mine
In a few days, my husband and I will board an Air Canada jet, crossing the Pacific, international borders and time zones as we travel to Okinawa, Japan, where my younger daughter and her family live. Thanks to my adventuresome daughters, I've visited many more foreign countries than I might have otherwise. Despite this, living … Continue reading March 30, 2019: In the Kingdom of the Ill
One is the loneliest number One is the loneliest number One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do..." ("One," sung by Three Dog Night, lyrics by Harry Nilsson, 1968) If you passed me on the street, you wouldn't know that my heart no longer functions properly, unable to pump blood through my body as … Continue reading February 25, 2019: The Loneliness of Heart Failure
A three thousand year tradition, which bonded doctor and patient in a special affinity of trust, is being traded for a new type of relationship. Healing is replaced with treating; caring is supplanted by managing, and the art of listening is taken over by technological procedures. -- (The Lost Art of Healing: Practicing Compassion in … Continue reading February 3, 2019: What Do You Want in A Doctor?
i am running into a new year and the old years blow back like a wind ... it will be hard to let go of what i said to myself about myself when i was sixteen and twenty-six and thirty-six... (From: The Collected Poems of Lucille Clifton 1965-2010, Young & Miller, Eds., 2012) I recalled … Continue reading January 8, 2019: Flourish: Living a Full Life with Heart Failure
Perhaps it has something to do with the season--the holidays and the year drawing to a close have a predictable impact on my thoughts and mood. There are memories of holidays past, of people and places I've loved, of family who are no longer in my life, and with them, feelings of nostalgia. It's a … Continue reading December 16, 2018: When Heart Failure is Too Much With Me